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Discussion Starter #1
Just not cricket

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Two 70 year old men, Nev and Vic, have been friends all their lives. Vic is dying, so Nev comes to visit him every day. "Vic," says Nev, "You know how we have both loved cricket all our lives, and how we played together for so many years. Vic, you have to do me one favour. When you get to Heaven, and I know you will go to Heaven, somehow you've got to let me know if there's cricket in Heaven."

Vic looks up at Nev from his death bed, and says, "Nev, you've been my best friend many years. If it is at all possible, I'll try to let you know."

Shortly after that, Vic passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later. Nev is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of white light. A voice calls out to him, "Nev....Nev...."

"Who is it?" says Nev sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Nev, it's me, Vic."

"Come on. You're not Vic. Vic just died."

"I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Vic!"

"Vic? Is that you? Where are you?"

"I'm in heaven," says Vic, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good news and some bad news."

"So, tell me the good news first," says Nev.

"The good news is that there is cricket in Heaven. Better yet, all our old chums who've gone before us are here too. And better still, we're all young men again. Even better, it's always springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want and we never get tired!"

"Really?" says Nev, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest dreams!

But, what's the bad news?" asks Nev.

"You're opening the batting next Tuesday".>:dowhat
 

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:laugh :laugh :laugh
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Blowjob and the Cabbie

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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.
 

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Where the hell is Triker when she's needed? :laugh
 

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Pygmy looking for a new name
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Well then, ya caught me.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Well then, ya caught me.
To be honest mate, I decided to post it twice incase others wanted to see it ( when I say others I mean people who dont not normally frequent the UK threads ) :hail
 

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Pygmy looking for a new name
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Crap...I was reading a UK thread? *runs away*
 
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