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A lot of oldies some good some not so good, but we all need a laugh mid week...... so please enjoy.....:devious :laugh

> > 1. Night clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to using dental syringes
> > to inject Ecstasy directly into their mouths. This dangerous
> > practice is known
> as E
> > by gum".
> >
> > 2. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least
> > one
> of
> > them would have seen it.
> >
> > 3. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy
> > Marijuana press the hash key..."
> >
> > 4. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for
> shorts.
> > The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
> >
> > 5. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
> > couldn't
>
> > find
> > any.
> >
> > 6. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that
> > he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the
> > steaks
> are
> > too high."
> >
> > 7. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled
> > him
> in.
> >
> > 8. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
> > shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
> > The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
> >
> > 9. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
> >
> > 10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in
> > the craft,it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
> kayak
> > and heat it.
> >
> > 11. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van
> > covered
> with
> > hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
> >
> > 12. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
> > Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
> >
> > 13. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
> > "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.
> > 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual."
> >
> > 14. A man takes his Rotweiller to the vet.
> > "My dog's cross-eyed, is there nothing you can do for him?"
> > "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
> > So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
> > Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
> > "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
> > "No, because he's really heavy"
> >
> > 15. Guy goes into the doctor's.
> > "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
> > "How's that?"
> > "Don't you start."
> >
> > 16. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
> >
> > 17. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
> > A fsh.
> >
> > 18. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, "Can
> > you
> give
> > me a lift?"
> > I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
> >
> > 19. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
> > There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
> > It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Steve, or my
> > younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Steve.
> >
> > 20. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
> > The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
> >
> > 21. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery
> > acid, and the other was eating fireworks.
> > They charged one and let the other one off.
> >
> > 22. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
> > They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'
> > So that was nice."
> >
> > 23. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in
> > several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"
> >
> > 24. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
> > small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
> > and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that
> > number to climb as digging continues into the night.
> >
> >
> > ______________________________________________________
 

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:laugh If I didn't laugh inside, I'd get the sack!:laugh

:lol :rotfl :lol
 

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i think triker has got the sack,
very funny:laugh :laugh
 

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Hail Ally...............the new Triker (if you see what I mean :laugh ) :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl
 
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