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Discussion Starter #1
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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor, and the doctor fitted him with a set of hearing
aids that permitted him to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman returned to
the doctor a month later. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your
family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three
times!"

_____________________________ _____________________________ _______

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house. After eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen
were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant
and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of
that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?" :dowhat :devious

:devious :laugh
 

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Those were good. I really liked the second one. :lol

However please DO NOT get Triker started. :eek
 

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Discussion Starter #3
:laugh :laugh :devious :devious :laugh :laugh Aww come on........ TRIKER Let em have it :dowhat :laugh :laugh :laugh .......
 

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Triker is prob' still feeling bruised from the kicking she got from their kids on Sunday :laugh :laugh :laugh
 

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Jens Mum is back in hospital at the Mo. so she may not be around for a while.
On top of the heart attacks earlier in the year she lost an eye after surgery last week and at the weekend she was rushed back in with severe Kidney probs.
 

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Cheers Dave.
We've already started on her with the pirate Jokes about loosing the eye.
Jens brother is going to bring his parrot up when she's out of hospital :laugh
She's a blinding (excuse the pun) woman, one couldn't ask for a better M.I.L. and she takes it with a laugh.
 

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Best wishes to the MIL and Jen :)
 

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great jokes and best wishes to Mil (I'm assuming the name of Jen's ma').:yes
 

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bikerchris said:
great jokes and best wishes to Mil (I'm assuming the name of Jen's ma').:yes
:banghead

Chrissy... Mil.. ie M.I.L. as in Mother In Law.. did you even read the above posts?.. :laugh

although :stupid in wishing her well :yes

:thumbup
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Sh*t..... sorry to hear that, pass on my best wishes would ya.......... all the best to you all
Al
 

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tinyUK said:
Chrissy... Mil.. ie M.I.L. as in Mother In Law..
:banghead OK than, best wishes to THE M.I.L then, OK!

:thumbup
 

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Well hell, sounds like Triker needs the laugh more than the rest of us.

I was going to say we only ask triker into the threads when we need to cry over bad jokes, not a laugh!

Tell the MIL that due to the pirate connection she's an honorary member of TLZ now! :thumbup Hope she comes out well enough. Best wishes to her and Triker.

Just for Jen....

Q: How do pigs write top secret messages?
A: With invisible oink!

Q: How do you take a sick pig to the hospital?
A: In an hambulance!

Q: What do cops use to arrest pigs?
A: Ham-cuffs!

Q: What do pigs get when they're ill?
A: Oinkment!

Q: What happened to the pig who lost its voice?
A: It became disgruntled!

Q: Why did the farmer call his pig ink?
A: Because it always ran out of the pen!

Q: Why should you never tell a pig a secret?
A: Because they love to squeal!
 

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:thumbup

Glad I could stoop to the task. Google for "Bad Jokes" always results in Jen worthy jokes! :laugh
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Ah where would we be without google :) how did we survive before it came out hahaha
 

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Well, let's see, there was yahoo, and before that lycos and before that excite and before that webcrawler. :lol
 

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Thanks all for the best wishes for my Mum, she's on the mend again!! Still in hospital, but much better.

and just for Ally and Jasen....

How do you know policemen are strong?
Because they can hold up traffic.

What do termites eat for breakfast?
Oakmeal.

Why were the suspenders arrested?
For holding up a pair of stockings.

this one made me laugh, but then they all do...

How does the queen bee get around her hive?
She's throne.
 

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

A man's home is his castle... in a manor of speaking.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

The definition of a will?... (It's a dead giveaway.)
 
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