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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Tough guy..........

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Customer: (to Publican) My wife and I just got into a real knock-down, drag-out fight.

Publican: What happened?

Customer: Well, when it was all over, she came crawling over to me on her hands and knees.

Publican: Wow! What did she say?

Customer: She said, 'Come out from under the bed right now you coward, or I'll kick you f*cking head in!':dowhat :laugh :laugh
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Q. Why do the marines always send three men out on a patrol?
A. One to read the map and two to guard the intellectual

Q. What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under his arm?
A. A newlywed.

Q. What do you call a Welshman with two sheep under his arm?
A. A pimp.

Q. What's the similarity between a lawyer and a sperm?
A. Only one in a million turns out to be human.

Q. What's the violent, alcoholic, mental patient's catchphrase?
A. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Q. How many intelligent Leicester City fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Both of them.

Q. What's the difference between men and cheese?
A. Cheese matures.

Q. What do you call a virgin in a $300 hat?
A. The Pope.

Q. Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?
A. They stay stuck in adolescence.

Q. What's the difference between a puppy and a man?
A. Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.

Q. Why do men believe in love at first sight?
A. It save them so much time.
 

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2,125 Posts
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troopers!

Did you hear about the man who had BO on one side only?
He bought Right Guard, but couldn't find any Left Guard!

How do you stop a cold getting to your chest?
Tie a knot in your neck!

What is the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike!

:laugh :laugh :laugh

A piece of string walks into a bar and sits on the counter demands a beer.
The bartender looks up at him and says, "Don't you see the sign? It says no strings allowed."

So the string sighs and walks out the door. He goes across the street for a while and the bartender continues his normal activities.

The string goes to the bathroom at a convenience store across the street and messes his hair up really bad and ties himself into a knot.

About 10 minutes later the string walks back into the same bar, sits down and demands a beer.

The bartender looks up at him and says, "Man, weren't you just the string that walked in here about 10 minutes ago?"

The string replies, "No, I'm a fraid not....

:laugh :laugh :rotfl
 
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