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Moderator,
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8,244 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a
brand new Ferrari GTO.

It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs
him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red
light.

An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up
next to him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks,
"What kind of car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million
dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost
so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states
the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No
problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks
around.

Then, sitting back o n his Moped, the old man says, " That's a
pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show
the old man just what his car can do.

He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads
160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror.

It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!

Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth
could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks
himself.

He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250
mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the
Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it
more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph.

WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in
his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors th gas
pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him
again!

The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,
demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man
is still alive.

He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is
there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side
view mirror".
 

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:laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh
 

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Moderator,
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8,244 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked
about his bill and the barber replies, "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money
from you. I'm doing community service this week"

The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. Next morning When the barber
goes to open there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him
at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to Pay his bill the
barber again replies, "I'm sorry, I cannot accept Money from you. I'm
doing community service this week."

The cop is happy and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to
open up there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at
his door.

Later a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his
bill the barber again replies, "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The Republican is very happy and
leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a
thank you card and a dozen different books such as "How to Improve Your
Business" and "Becoming More Successful."

Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
the barber again replies, "I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week." The Democrat is very happy and leaves
the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a
dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between left
and right.
 

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24,892 Posts
:spit that's pretty good.
 
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