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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck on my c&^% just yet

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my car, I don't give a sh*t where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!

(CLASSIC!!!!)
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

Man: You're pretty
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch
 

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Man: Excuse me love, can I smell your fanny?
Woman: No, **** OFF
Man: It must be your feet then.

Man: Do you want to play carnival?
Woman: Whats then then?
Man: Sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Or, this is one I have actually heard a mate use, live in action:
Excuse me love, do you take it up the shitter?
:laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh
 

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:lol :lol
 
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My fav

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

:laugh :laugh
 
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