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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What do you call a Chav in a box?

What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"*** you lookin'at?"

How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

Two Chavs in a car without any music....who's driving?
The police.

What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

What do you say to a Chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please.

What do you say to a Chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand.

What do you call a knife in Chaville?
Exhibit A.

Why is 3 Chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4.

What do you call a 27 year old Chavette?

How many Chavs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they'll screw anything.

What do you call 100 Chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

How many Chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

Why did the Chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the
car wash.

Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.

Two Chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?

How do you stop a Chav from drowning?
Take your foot off their head.

What's the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men...

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in tall
and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well P***d and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Chavster. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the Chav leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer."I've never seen you react like that" he says "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the Chav replies. "Something about a job."

Whats the difference between an onion and a dying Chav?
Onions make you cry!

What do Chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.

What do you call a 12 year old Chav girl?

What do you do if you run a Chav over?
Slip it into reverse just to make sure.

What do you do if you shoot a Chav?

What does a Chavette do when she gets up in the morning?
She goes home.

What's brown and black and looks great on a Chav?
A rottweiler.

What's yellow and looks great on a Chav?

What's the difference between a battery and a Chav?
A battery has a positive side.

What do you give a Chav that's buried up to his neck in sand?
More sand.

How do you make a Chav go woof?
Douse it in petrol and light it.

What's the difference between a Chav and the loch ness monster?
Sadly, Chavs are real.

Judge: What gear were you in at the moment of crashing your Nova?
Chav defendant: "Reeboks and a Burberry cap."

Chavette is doing the washing up when her 4 year old daughter comes up to her "Mummy, I wondered why your hands are so soft" Says the Chavette. "It's 'cos I'm twelve, innit"

What is the similarity between a middle aged Chav woman's legs, and The Beatles?
They haven't been together since the 70's.

What's the difference between a phone battery and a Chav just out of prison?
The battery will last at least a couple of days before being charged again.

How do you make a Chav run faster?
Tuck a car stereo under his arm.

What do all Chavs have in common with clouds?
As soon as they **** off,it's a beautiful day.

Why do Chav Cars have small steering wheels?
So they can Drive with the handcuffs on.

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you
open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
The fourth one says, "I prefer Chavs. They're heartless, spineless,
gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."

1,041 Posts
:dowhat :laugh :laugh :laugh :laugh nice one Guv let battle commence :dowhat :laugh :laugh :laugh
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